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O RLY? WRK [21 Sep 2009|12:13pm] [ music | i am sitting in a room ] Things I Hate: - Oral exams (Italy) - Job interviews (NOW) - Live auditions (now and then) - Oral thesis defenses (o rly?) Off to the Big Apple tomorrow for the second of those things. I could use a beer from Koreatown every now and then. %

my shutters are closed [07 May 2009|10:51am] BREAKING: Student Shot and Killed at Broad Street Books; Spring Fling Cancelled Yesterday was so surreal, but now . . . Wesleyan Shooter May Be Targeting School, Jews http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Police-Wesleyan-Jewish-Community-Be-Vigilant-After-Shooting.html I feel nauseous. %

all'improviso [09 Mar 2009|01:09pm] [ mood | contenta ] [ music | grande fratello . . . non sto scherzando ] I walked to Feltrinelli today, but instead of cutting through Via Largo Trombetti and going down Via Zamboni, I went down Via San Felice because Claudio lives closer to Ghigi now. Feltrinelli? I'm back in Bologna, Italy for spring break, and I'm not being sentimental when I say it feels like I never left. I feel shy about my Italian, even though I understand everything and can say anything I want to say, but I know my accent isn't pure, even if my bangs provide a 10-second delay before people realize that I'm not Italian. My recital at the end of February went well, I guess. My nerves got the best of me during the day, and I couldn't stay hydrated; I was just too nervous. And  the nerves (shaking body!) really affected my first three pieces (mostly the coloratura in the Handel and the tessitura of the Mozart, not so much the Cesti). Looking back I am happy with what I've accomplished, all things considered, but I wonder what it would have been like if my body cooperated with me.  I have to provide a final draft of my music thesis on March 18. While I'm in Italy. Damn! %

you have to understand, we only want what's best for you [27 Dec 2008|01:56am] The travel itch is creeping up on me again . . . If you asked me sophomore year where I saw myself after college and what I'd be doing, I would probably tell you that I was going to graduate school of some sorts (it was then "to-be-determined") or had some sort of fellowship or something laudable on some recognizable level to demonstrate that my achievements didn't stop at getting into a good undergraduate college. But if you asked me right now what I'll be doing six months from now, I would probably tell you that I have no idea and that it's really not how I intended it to be. I tried last semester to quickly hobble something together, but in these past few weeks it's begun to fall apart at the seams. I got scared and jumped on the career bus like everyone else but-- You reap what you sow, and instead of preparing my crop for the next season I lived in Italy for year and had the time of my life. But now I have no crop and it's okay contrary to what my parents think (because you shouldn't cultivate a crop you don't even want in the first place) because forty years from now when i look back at my life it will not be "oh do you remember that great paper i wrote about issues of marginalized regional identities and the question of the "Italian" in post-WWII Calabria?" it will be, "we went to the Cinque Terre and met two locals who took us snorkeling at a hidden beach where we caught an OCTOPUS with our BARE HANDS, KILLED IT, and ATE IT" life comes at you fast® %

two weeks into Lucca [30 Jun 2008|04:06pm] Questa citta' e' troppo piccola per me. Non ce lo farei, se dovessi stare qui per un anno come ho fatto a Bologna. Il movimento si gira all'intorno dei turisti, che vengono per una giornata a vedere San Michele e prendere un gelato vicino alla casa natale di Puccini. Si vede le cartelle che dicono "ENGLISH SPOKEN" dappertutto nella citta', per dirti come turistico e' diventato questo posto. Claudio aveva ragione: e' una citta' ben-orgnizzata, pulita, e simpatica, ma c'e' una macanza della sua propria anima, come fosse stata tolta dagli stessi turisti che appoggiono l'economia con le tasche piene. Mi manca il casino di Piazza Verdi, la schifezza che sporca le mie scarpe su Largo Respighi. Forse se io fossi piu' vecchia, mi piacerebbe una citta' cosi', ma per ora, il mio cuore rimane a Bologna. %

Bologna - Spring 2008 [01 Feb 2008|11:52am] [ music | carabinieri ] These are the classes that I'm choosing between for my Universita' di Bologna music class because I can only take one if I want to be able to move about freely in the Continent senza problemi: 1.)  Storia della Musica Greca: History of ancient Greek music, but without getting into theory or anything that requires a technical music base; assumes that, like any Italian student, you studied Latin and Ancient Greek prolifically in high school Bottom Line: Do-able, but leaves much to be desired musically and  leaves me at a disadvantage without that Ancient Greek assumed "pre-requisite." 2.) Psicologia della Musica: How music affects, enters, stimulates, etc.; the final exam, unlike most UniBo oral exams, is written (three open-ended essay-style questions) Bottom Line: Entirely reasonable but its hours are inconvenient and knock out a chunk of my intended other classes 3.) Storia e Storigrafica della Musica (Laurea Specilistica): Graduate seminar class exploring revision issues in Mahler's First Symphony. I check it out on encouragement from Giuliana, who says as a full-year student and Music major the  level of Italian and the assumed music background shouldn't be an issue for me. So I went to the first class (Tues 5-7, Wed 10-1pm) on Wednesday. Professor arrives forty minutes late, asks the students where their scores are, nobody brought anything, yells at them for being incompetent, laments the "patheticness" of the Italian university system, then asks us individually in the front of the entire class to explain why you, a "graduate student", and the person beside you doesn't have the score. My voice cracking, I squeak in Italian, "I'm an American student and the program of study is different here and I wanted to see . . ." "You want to check this class out?" he responds sarcastically in stilted English. "The level--" His faces relaxes; he seems indifferent to me. He turns away from me to the next student. "And you?" "It's in the mail; it should be here within a month--" "This class ends in the month! What does it serve to have a book that doesn't arrive until it is utterly useless to you? What idiocy." After another half-hour tirade he begins to lecture, but he rambles quickly and no amount of Italian TV could help me practice to keep up with him. I scribble my notes furiously, and at the same time he interrupts himself to ask the class why nobody is participating; hasn't anybody done the reading yet? And when the two-hour mark comes for the expected pausa, he asks the class, "Do we pause or just continue?" A man shakes his head, "Continue!" Three hours pass, and finally the class is over. "I expect a better performance next class from you all."  Bottom Line: Next class? What next class? But this is the only class of the three that is even remotely intriguing on an intellectual level; the other courses ask nothing of me as a Music major. Also, if I do well in this class, it would be BEAST. Gold stars all around, high five. My experience with Estetica Musicale last semester was enough to render me aware that it neither serves your academic growth nor your Italian fluency to take a philosophy-heavy course that ultimately asks too much of you (who really wants to spend their last week in Italy locked up in the studentato reading Italian verbal masturbation when there's a Ducati festival in Piazza Maggiore?) But intellectually without a course like Storiagrafica I feel stagnant. More reflection must be done before a final decision can be made. Out, and about, -B %

prima o poi l'amore arriva [23 Nov 2007|02:46pm] [ music | I Simpsons in Italiano ] I celebrated Thanksgiving in Bologna yesterday by eating a lot of turkey and joining a communist pub (my membership expires in 30 days.) evviva! evviva! %

Italia, Italia, tu sei il mondo [09 Sep 2007|02:23am] [ mood | stanca ] [ music | niente ] For over four weeks I have been in Italy--first in Lecce for il corso intensivo di italiano, and now in Bologna for the true semester. I could not begin to recount all the places I've seen and the stories I've had and the people I've met, but I can tell you with some certainty that I am having trouble deciding whether to stay for my entire junior year or stick to the original fall semester plan.  In Lecce I saw la Basilica del Santo Croce and Porta Napoli, ate free crepes from Marco's crepe stand ("un regalo, perché siamo amici!"), witnessed the descent of Italian fashion in the ascension of the borsolini (man purses, which technically should be called borsette ma Lorenzo mi ha detto che la parola "borsette" fosse troopo femminile), alternately fell smitten to their faux-hawks and aviators (insieme, a powerful combination against the puritan defenses of the bourgie American studentesse), and, most importantly,  endured the persistent affections of Italian men ("Sei bellissima") as best embodied by Giulio, a 31-year-old architect from Rome who bent under the table to stroke the arch of my foot and tell me that I had the arch of a dancer--and that not only did I have the eyes, nose ("un naso francese"), lips, TEETH, and hair that he wanted in a woman and that he would gladly "host" me in Rome or visit me in Bologna. During the week-long vacation after Lecce I went to the Netherlands with Amanda, and we stayed in a hostel in Rotterdam for three days (De Mafkees, €10/night), visited the M.C. Escher museum in Den Haag, ate bitterballen and broodjes and stroopwafels, went through the Van Gogh Museum, Het Rembrandt Huis, and Rijksmuseum blazed, and, most importantly, stayed in Shelter City Christian Hostel ("Got SinBurn? Try SonProtection" €16/night) in the Red LIght District of Nieuwmarkt (Amsterdam) while under the influence of a steady haze of smoke. I have been maybe four days in Bologna and classes have yet to begin (and just the Intensive Language Course for Academic Purposes--UniBo classes don't begin until Ottobre), but already with the assistance of Jessica (mia compagna di stanza a Collegio Forni), Stefano (her ex-fidanzato), Claudio (il fratello di Stefano), e altri ragazzi I have found the best bars (pubs) and clubs (discoteche) in the city while the many secrets UniBo students have to (not) offer. My Italian improves rapidly here; unlike Lecce, where the Americans were ghetto-ized in the apartamenti di Oxford Institute, in Bologna I live with Italian roommates, who speak only Italian, who know little English, and who make no concessions to me by slowing their speech or using more basic vocabulary. While I appreciate the other students in the E.C.Co. program and some are even real friends, I want this experience to be as authetic as possible. I see international students at Wesleyan congregate together and conceive a community seperate and divided from the rest of the school population, and I don't want that experience. I want the UniBo life, not the E.C.Co. one. The possibility must wait, for UniBo's 100,000 student population is only beginning to arrive and will continue to for the next four weeks, But until then, I try; I will not settle for an American existence abroad. 1| %

telly [11 Jun 2007|02:40am] [ mood | promiti! ] [ music | Home Alone 3 ] NEW YORK ON TUESDAY FOR MET IN THE PARKS! I'm staying with EunHye, I think, but seeing all my loves, including Cecil and Mark. And now, a job interview in exactly 12 hours.  cnvn(I)DF %

itch [16 May 2007|09:04pm] [ mood | raft ] [ music | mosquito ] there is no reason to imagine that novels are limited to reproducing an experiential model of personhood Huckleberry Finn attempts to move away from a model of responsibility that requires such bonds and changes of heart by disarticulating the meaning of individual and collective action from questions of sympathy or intention this disarticulation emerges most strikingly in the novel's investment in producing actions that can only be understood retrospectively Everything is so promising and thrilling. But, 1 more page to go, so off I go! instead it attempts to extend the logic of corporate responsibility--responsibility not simply for harms you have caused but also for harms committed in your name--to the nation %

Try--Admit It [14 Mar 2007|09:47pm] [ mood | sun-dried ] [ music | Ciara Get Up ] CECELIA PORTER WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SINGING This was most particularly noticeable at phrase endings, for which Cole carefully measured the speed of his vibrato -- at times showing a flexible falsetto that opened up to full voice. "Carefully measured the speed of his vibrato"--yes of COURSE the effectiveness of my cadences is determined by the RATE of OSCILLATION which I CALIBRATE prior to the concert HMPH In other news--there is no other news, but so far this break I've spent 4 hours outside everyday raking leaves . . . for a tan. A tan that I cannot FIND.  But it is 9:55pm and I am exhausted. This is aggrevating and mildly pathetic. When I am recovered, I will apply to: --The Shu Tokita Prize (Wes) --Olin Fellowship (Wes) --The rest of my various summer opera programs (one postmark tomorrow--oh snap) And I will read: The Complete Stories of Flannery O'Conner The Time Traveler's Wife A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court And I will choose between: E.C.CO in Bologna, Italy B.U. in Padua (Padova), Italy . . . for Fall 2007 And I will NOT: -Practice my Die Fledermaus music because I left it at school -Cut my hair. Or maybe I will! %

More Exciting News! [12 Mar 2007|07:18pm] [ mood | yuck yuck yuck ] [ music | Dogeball ] Dear Brittany, Congratulations!  You have been accepted to Boston University's Fall 2007 Padova Program which runs from August 31 (group flight departure is August 30)—December 15, 2007. . . . DAMN. So now I have to choose between Padua (Padova) or Bologna. Thoughts? Choices! AUGH! %

i will never know cause you will never show [09 Mar 2007|07:24pm] [ mood | come on and love me now ] [ music | The Cardigans Carnival ] Hello Brittany, The results are in from the Selection Committee and I am delighted to inform you that you have been accepted to the E.C.CO. Program in Bologna for fall 2007. Congratulations! Participation  in the August session in Lecce is optional for you, but we strongly encourage you to attend to strengthen your language skills. You will receive an official acceptance letter in your wesbox the week after spring break but I wanted to let you know the Committee's decision right away. There will be a mandatory orientation meeting in April and you will be advised of the date, time, and location. Again congratulations on your acceptance! Regards, Gail Winter Assistant Director International Studies 105 Fisk Hall 262 High Street Wesleyan University Middletown, CT 06459 phone:  860 685-3006 fax:    860 685-2551 e-mail: gwinter@wesleyan.edu url: www.wesleyan.edu/ois YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I'M GOING TO ITALY THIS FALL! I'M GOING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF BOLOGNA! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 3| %

largo lento allegro [06 Mar 2007|11:56pm] [ mood | piccolo elefante ] [ music | Glenn Gould Goldberg Variations: 1 aria ] Prescription: 3 coffees 1 all-nighter A keen sense of academic urgency Dosage: Take when symptoms arise (Unlimited refills) Warning: Do not mix with naps, alcohol, or pleasure. --- Today while learning the waltz I looked up from my clumsy eager feet and into Erik's eyes and thought, I can see why someone would fall in love with you. I can see why people would fall in love with a great many people these days. But I think I'm done for awhile. This empathy is atuning me too strongly to other people's emotions. I have come to terms with my own 9 times already. I will not privitize this, I think, for once. %

[03 Mar 2007|05:28am] [ mood | highest highs & lowest lows ] [ music | Hans Zimmer Vide Cor Meum ] My life is a four-year cycle. 1| %

you're not crying are you? [02 Feb 2007|10:19am] [ mood | toby i want you to know ] [ music | that you have the most beautiful voice in the world ] GIAN CARLO MENOTTI DIED sniff 1| %

haute decor [29 Jan 2007|05:20pm] [ mood | macaroni yellow/magenta ] [ music | Osvaldo Golijov Ainadamar ] It looks like somebody vomited crayons in my room. I LOVE IT 1| %

what news to wake up to say you [17 Jan 2007|03:02pm] [ mood | calculating ] [ music | crunchy foods ] SHIT Jake is in France until June. I was banking on this boy for recording. Aww maaaaaan BUT BUT BUT Hansel is going to be my accompanist. SIGH OF RELIEF %

No I am not buying See's for him [17 Jan 2007|01:16am] [ mood | YUM ] [ music | $40 a Day at Oahu, Hawaii! ] I need to finish The Innocents Abroad by Saturday evening, so if I read 100 pages a day I'll be set for class before I even get back to Wes. Singing was MOST EXCELLENT today. Everything felt free and open and "Czardas" and "Ach, wende diesen Blick"  and (yes!) "Heart, we will forget him" felt like dreams. I e-mailed the appropriate people for recording, need to e-mail Priscilla and probably Angel as well for recommendations, and theeeeeeen . . . write a shitload of checks. This is where my CA stipend is going. And don't even get me started on study abroad (only Bologna and I suppose Milan or Florence as back-ups; it's not feasible to leave Wes for a year) OR the Freeman Asian Initiative grant (Japan = impossible, so Malaysia? maybe? maybe? yes.) And maybe the Dana grant? AUGH. I leave from Baltimore on Sunday and will arrive in Connecticut in the early evening. And from thereeeee . . . not Wes! Ahem. And then from a beachfront divine on Monday I will be back with my lovely housemates and Pinoys and probably Orquesta (we have a show that very Friday at Trinity College whaaaat). And Wednesday--classes resume. Also: -Send faaaaabulous new clothes ahead (& possible new room deco & rare delish snacks) -Buy class books online -Finish learning Die Fledermaus music -Stop watching the Food Network NO I'M NOT HUNGRY P.S. He quite possibly takes the cake. %

O Heimat! [17 Dec 2006|11:59pm] [ music | Gundula Janowitz Porgi, amor ] Oh wow. Next semester we're doing the entire Act II of Strauss Jr.'s Die Fledermaus and Priscilla wants me to sing all of Roselinda (the Watch Duet, ensemble work, etc) . . . . . . and "Csárdás (Klänge Der Heimat)"--but only if 1.) I feel comfortable with it 2.) I know it like the back of my hand when I come back from break, and 3.) I never sing this piece outside of Wesleyan (because the entire vocal community would SLAUGHTER ME. And her.) But comfort? WHO CARES?! IT'S THE FREAKING CSÁRDÁS! I am beyond psyched. I am PUMPED. YEAH. Now back to my theory paper (ugh ew pft hahduadfjasldkfja; jda;lmcakl) werueu adkadjkafsd ajdlkfajd;lfjasdl;fkjasldfjasldkfjsad;lkfj ajdsflk;ajsd;kf eiwroweirp P.S. Tomorrow night: THE CHRISTOPHER GLUCK REFORM PARTY EXTRAVAGANZA 1| %

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